The run up to the festive season is the perfect time to think about giving and generosity. We can often feel conflicted about gift-giving, despairing at the consumerist culture surrounding us and the amount of money we are expected to pay, and yet wanting to make our loved ones happy with the gifts we feel they deserve. In the words of life coach Mara Glatzel:
“When we are pressured to match a transaction of cash and heart-felt emotion, it feels like we can never spend enough”
This conflict can mean that we approach buying presents as a chore, a tick-box exercise rather than a heartfelt act of generosity. Christmas shopping can be a stressful, claustraphobic experience as we are crammed into shops with panicked cashiers and wailing children, while festive tunes blare from the radio. For many of us, financial difficulties are at the forefront of our minds and the anxiety they cause can detract from the positivity of gift giving.
Despite these conflicts, research has shown that generous people are, quite simply, happier. In ‘The Paradox of Generosity’, a collection of research exploring positive outcomes of giving, Christian Smith states that:
“a variety of kinds of practices of generosity are positively and significantly associated with five important good life outcomes. Giving money, volunteering, being relationally generous, being a generous neighbor and friend, and personally valuing the importance of being a generous person are all significantly, positively correlated with greater personal happiness, physical health, a stronger sense of purpose in life, avoidance of symptoms of depression, and a greater interest in personal growth.”
We can often forget that generosity can take more forms than simply giving money or gifts. Yet the research shows that volunteering, giving our time to our loved ones and community, and valuing generosity as a part of our personality, are all ways of giving which can make us and the people around us happier too.
With that in mind, we’ve put together five suggestions of ways to be generous that don’t involve money. Hopefully they may inspire you to think differently about our approach the festive season, with less stress and more mindful giving.
- Get creative. Instead of buying presents, there are many brilliant ideas for home-made gifts that don’t cost a thing to make. People will love the effort you have gone to and you can create a personal, heartfelt gift that is unique for them. Why not write a poem, frame a favourite quote, create an artwork, make a mix CD, give a massage, bake some treats or draw a family tree?
- Volunteer. Whether that’s for a local event, an organisation you already support, or deciding to look for new opportunities to donate your time to, volunteering is one of the most generous, community-building actions we can take. If you are thinking about volunteering around Christmas time, why not support the Crisis Christmas campaign to ‘make Christmas happen’ for people who are homeless or vulnerably housed. You could even ask loved ones to sponsor you as their Christmas gift to you.
- Share skills. Rather than focussing on expensive gifts, consider the skills you have that you could share with your loved ones. Are you good at sewing? Why not offer to fix the pile of cardigans your friend has that all seem to be missing buttons. Are you an organised kind of person who always has their paperwork under control? Give a few hours to a friend who keeps putting off sorting out the documents pushed to the back of their cupboard. Expert at DIY? Put up shelves or paint a ceiling. Favourite cousin? Baby sit for an evening.
- Be kind to yourself. Extend your feelings of generosity towards yourself and give yourself permission to make time and space for yourself. After all,“taking care of yourself is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others” – Bryant McGgill.
- Be present. Even though the festive season is all about time spent with family and friends, sometimes we can be so busy preparing for it that we forget to slow down and actually enjoy that time. The most precious gifts we can give to others are our undivided time, attention and love. When we are so distracted by all of the things we still need to do or the presents we want to buy that we are not savouring the present moment, one way to slow down is to take a mindful breath, refocus on the people around us and feel grateful for this time spent with loved ones.
Written by Emmy Fisher
The Happiness Collective 