This month’s ‘Happiness Heroes’ post celebrates the work of Tamara and Peter Donn, founders of the Herts-based EFT Training Centre. Tamara and Peter run Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) courses, workshops and training in Hertfordshire, London and internationally, both for self-help purposes and for people looking to become EFT practitioners themselves. Tamara also specialises in fertility and pregnancy, pioneering the ‘Birth Art Cafe’, a creative journey for new mothers and mothers-to-be.
Having read that both Tamara and Peter previously worked in IT, I was interested to find out more about their journey to becoming EFT practitioners. I spoke with Tamara about her journey and the inspiration for her work.
What was the turning point for you, to start training and working in a healing profession?
“I worked for many years in IT but became increasingly dissatisfied and stressed with commuting and working in the city. The initial turning point for both of us was when I suggested learning to meditate, as I thought it might help with stress. From the clarity I found as a result of meditating, I booked onto an aromatherapy course and once qualified I worked part time in aromatherapy and part time in IT. Peter also worked in IT and was becoming less and less interested in working with machines and wanted to work more with people.
The turning point for Peter was when his boss wanted to take a project Peter had set up and use it to set up his own company, excluding Peter. Peter was left feeling rage and injustice – emotions which were totally out of character. While visiting friends, Peter shared his work challenge and our friend asked him if he had tried EFT? He explained that EFT is a powerful tool that can relieve negative emotions quickly and easily and you can do it on your own. Peter read an EFT manual and tried it out. He was surprised and delighted to find that the rage started dissolving! He still knew that he had been unfairly treated but was able to now go to his boss and express himself from a place of confidence, strength and centeredness instead of rage and injustice. This experience sold EFT to Peter and from then on he learnt everything he could about EFT, did the training and became a practitioner and later, a trainer.
The next major turning point for me was after the birth of my daughter in 2000 when I wanted to support other mothers with their transition into motherhood. I trained as a doula, a fertility therapist and childbirth educator. At the same time Peter was training as an EFT practitioner and would practice on myself and our daughter. The results were fast and effective, so I started using EFT informally, introducing EFT to the women I worked with. As a result I was motivated to train as a practitioner and then trainer. Nowadays we run training together, which is so rewarding to be working together on something we both feel so passionately about.”
Similarly to some other holistic therapies, EFT is based on the concept of the body’s energy system. In your experience, how do disruptions in the body’s energy system prevent people from living happy or fulfilling lives?
“According to Gary Craig, founder of EFT, all negative emotions are caused by a disruption in the body’s energy system. Imagine the body’s energy or meridian system is like a series of hose pipes filled with water and that a negative emotion causes a kink in the hose pipe, preventing water from flowing. The act of tapping has an effect of straightening out the hose pipes so the water or energy can flow.
This differs from a commonly held view that traumas and negative memories cause negative emotions. Different people experience different emotions as a result of a traumatic memory. For example, an emotional reaction to a car crash might be angry with the person who caused the crash, scared to drive again or grateful to be alive. So it is not the experience that caused the negative emotions but the way the person interprets the experience that may cause negative emotions.
The act of tapping on specific points has the effect of straightening out the body’s energy system which results in feelings of peace and acceptance about the memory. The memory remains the same but the feelings about the memory change. But why leave it at peace and acceptance when one can actually feel happy, joyous, blissful or even ecstatic? Using Positive EFT, one can increase positive feelings to create positive states of being.”
What benefits have you witnessed from EFT, either personally or in clients you have worked with?
“Where do I start! For myself, I have worked on so many issues including negative emotions such as fears, anxiety and anger, upsetting past event, aches and pains, limiting beliefs such as ‘I am not good enough’ and to achieve goals such as improving eyesight and attracting abundance. Peter and I use EFT together if we have had an argument. We tap on how we are feeling which brings deeper understanding of the other, resulting in feeling closer than we did before the argument!
With our daughter, it has helped with fears about tests as well as using it to visualise success, and reduce aches, pains and conflicts. She once said to me when she was younger: “Mummy, what to people do when they don’t have EFT?”
With clients, we regularly observe improvements in physical issues such as ongoing pain for years, acne, migraines and period problems. Clients have greater emotional freedom from traumatic childhood memories such as abuse, bullying, accidents and grief, as well as release of negative beliefs created in childhood, or even earlier during birth or in the womb, such as “I am alone” or “I am not loved or wanted”. We have observed improvements where clients have had difficulties conceiving, pregnancy and birth fears, birth trauma, breech birth and baby loss. Plus many of our clients have achieved their goals through EFT, such as feeling happier, finding a partner, losing weight and creating abundance.”
Tamara, you work specifically with women around transformation and rites of passage such as pregnancy. What is it that particularly inspires you to work holistically with women through these periods of transition?
“I think the birth of my daughter was the catalyst for my passion for this work. In times gone by and in other cultures, new mothers were taken care of by grandmothers and other women until they rested and nourished. Birth is now considered a medical event, rather than the creation of a new human being.
“ In our society, we have lost many of our rituals that acknowledge rites of passage in our lives. Marking these life-changing events allows people to reflect on change, gives time and space to allow feelings to be acknowledged, to let go of the old and prepare for the new on an emotional level, setting intention for the next phase of their journey.” – Tamara Donn.
Acknowledging and celebrating rites of passage marks the transition from one phase of life to another. When transitions have not been acknowledged in the past, such as when a woman has her first period, it can leave a negative imprint and, in this example, may affect how a woman will experience her periods. Releasing any negativity experienced or beliefs created in that moment can change how a woman sees herself and experiences her monthly cycles.”
What does happiness mean to you and Peter?
“A few years ago, Peter was on a train to London when he asked the universe what the purpose of life was. The answer that came to him was to have fun. When he told me that I thought it was a bit trivial and that my life purpose was much more serious than this! He then clarified that it’s all about making life fun and joyful, whatever situation you find yourself in.
Since then he has been seeking more fun in his life. So when, in October 2011, an email arrived in his inbox asking him if he would like to audition for a dance part in the Olympics Opening Ceremony, he said “YES”. But not only that, he also put my name down!
Tamara & Peter at the Olympics
Reluctantly, I agreed to go to the audition and joined hundreds of others waiting. All of them looked young, slim, fit and far more suited for dancing than me. I felt sick with fear. I felt out of place and wanted to get out of there. I was close to tears and realised that the reason I couldn’t run away and go home was because I couldn’t face telling my daughter that I didn’t have the courage to go through with it. What sort of role model would I be!
As it happens, the whole Olympic event was for me one of the most powerful, fun, happy and exciting experiences that I will treasure forever. The peak moment was standing in the centre of the stadium, realising that millions of people had come together in peace to share that moment, and I was right there in the middle of it. I was one small part of making it happen. I was overcome with incredible joy, excitement and enormous pride in myself, in all the volunteers that had worked together to create this. Incredibly, since then our lives has become happier and more fun in so many ways, and we are now bringing this into all aspects of our lives.”
Would you like to know more about EFT? Read our recent blog introducing EFT and its benefits here.
To find out more about Tamara and Peter’s EFT courses and workshops, see their website at http://www.eft-courses.org.uk/ where you can also download a free EFT manual.
If you would like to find out more about using EFT for greater happiness, come along to The Happiness Collective’s Kindred Spirits Club event on the 11th February at GoKula Vegetarian Cafe in Watford at 6pm. Tamara and Peter will be joining us to run an hour’s workshop on using EFT to improve mood, wellbeing and happiness. You can find the details here on our website, Facebook or MeetUp.
Tamara and Peter are also running a workshop on using EFT for happiness in London on the 21st May.
Tamara’s work with Transformation for Women and the Birth Art Cafe can be found at http://eftforwomen.co.uk/ She runs monthly Red Tent Retreats on Thursday mornings with colleague Verity Peacock, which is an empowering, safe space for women to connect with inner wisdom & femininity through nurturing, gentle, facilitator-led processes.
Her first retreat for women, called A Woman’s Journey, invites women to immerse themselves in a powerful, gentle, supportive nourishing space of transformation and celebration. The retreat is being held at Latimer Place Hotel in Buckinghamshire on the 6th – 7th June. Information and booking can be found here.
The Happiness Collective 